November 14, 2023

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In a world filled with so many opportunities for relationships—the good, the bad and the ugly, I've learned that emotional energy is a valuable resource. Do you find any truth in Gayle's words? If we are honest, sometimes the answer is yes, and other times it's no. If it isn't easy to walk away from superfluous relationships, imagine how complicated the equation is when it involves family, particularly immediate family members.

It's natural to expect unconditional support from family, but reality can paint a different picture. Even within our closest circles, there might be individuals who harbor envy or negativity. In such cases, it becomes crucial to evaluate the dynamics of our relationships. Is the lack of support a temporary phase or a consistent pattern? Gayle's words compel us to discern whether these people genuinely have our best interests at heart. If not, the emotional toll of investing time and attention in such relationships might outweigh the benefits.

As an example, I haven't spoken to one of my sisters in more than two years. I mention this strained relationship, because the disconnect happened at a pivotal season of my life. While a veritable tidal wave of change was sweeping through my life, three unfit relationships were carried away with the current. She was one of them.

When making decisions in response to how people treat me, I work tirelessly to avoid sheltering any resentment, negativity or guilt. In full disclosure, this wasn't always the case—but now, I have no ill will towards her. I realized I needed a break from the drama and knew I'd made the right decision when I came to a couple crucial conclusions about our relationship:

1. If we were complete strangers who met and had an opportunity to develop a friendship, it wouldn't happen. Despite growing up in the same house, we have very little in common.

2. Due to some dysfunctional family issues that stained our childhood, we never established a sisterly bond that would help us overcome our differences.

3. While she is capable of being a wonderful person towards the people she loves, she has very little tolerance for those who fall short of her standards. In all fairness, she is entitled to live her life the way she wants. In turn, I have the right to love her, wish her the best and send her positive energy from afar.

We've all experienced the ebb and flow of relationships. Sometimes, we make the decision to pause contact; at other times, the decision is made for us. In the end, you have the right to spend your time in a way that leaves your heart untroubled. Finding true peace lies in the willingness to release negative people, thoughts, and emotions, allowing time and space to play their roles.

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