January 3, 2024

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It happened the other afternoon while I was washing the dishes, later that day when I was strapping Grace into her car seat, that night as I reached for my phone charger, and just a few moments ago when I reached inside the microwave to heat up my coffee. I bumped my thumb. Normally, I wouldn't think anything about it, but a couple weeks ago while repotting some indoor plants, I broke a flower pot and cut a deep gash right on my knuckle.

It bled a lot, but with pressure and a bandaid, I hoped it will heal fairly quickly. However, the cut is right on top of the joint, making it difficult to secure a bandaid for protection. So fast forward three weeks later and I'm still hitting, bumping or scratching it during routine daily activities.

And this got me thinking--a seemingly insignificant cut is no different than any emotional cut or wound we experience. If we continuously reinjure ourselves, (like when I caught the cut on the zipper of my jeans and broke open the scab), the healing process is delayed.

As we settle into 2024, I think the problem isn't in our desire for change. The root of the issue, is hidden behind old wounds that haven't healed or even looked at recently. For instance, if your goal is to stop overeating this year, but you're already making late night runs to the convenience store for Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey--then you have to ask yourself, what is really driving you to seek comfort in ice cream?

Personally, I didn't get control over my eating until I asked my doctor to adjust my antidepressants last year. He changed the prescription I'd been taking for years, and the shift was sudden and dramatic. After a few weeks I felt strong enough to dive deeper into the inner work I was doing in therapy and in life. I started advocating for myself--and trust me, people did not like it! I started choosing self-care over always being available for other people's needs. I was willing to say, "No, sorry--I can't do that today." And I didn't worry about the impact my boundaries had on the people around me. Each decision to do better fueled another decision, and another one and so one. The effect was compounding and lead to a lifestyle and mindset transformation.

The unnoticed moments, like scratching or brushing against an unhealed wound, can carry profound lessons. Just as a vulnerable cut can resist healing so can our soul when unattended wounds are at the root of our suffering. The struggle to break free from destructive habits, negative self-talk and limiting behaviors takes serious inner work.

As we navigate the uncharted waters of a new year, let's not forget that change begins within. Self-advocacy, setting boundaries and inner work will ruffle feathers, but they are a vital step toward genuine well-being. Starting with today, let 2024 be the year we tend to our emotional wounds, fostering resilience where true healing radiates over us and we are moved to bask in its glow.